Why these 4 women pay a stranger for orgasmic massages
“It’s not sleazy or weird.”
Massages are great and I think you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who didn’t agree. But when it comes it intimate massages, it’s rare for people to publicly sing their praises. It seems there’s a bit of a misconception that the world of orgasmic massages is kind of seedy.
While I’m sure some are less than legit, Colin Richards runs the reputable and highly recommended Intimacy Matters. He’s a trained relationship and sex therapist and masseur and specialises in sensual and psycho-sensual massages for women, men and couples. Women visit him for a number of reasons, from wanting better orgasms to needing help overcoming sexual trauma. While his massages more often than not end in the recipient climaxing, many experience multiple orgasms and female ejaculation.
Here, four women explain the very different reasons why they have orgasmic massages.
“My friend with benefits wasn’t satisfying me”
Jennifer*, 34, a doctor, says,
“I had a friend with benefits who used to rush things a little bit and wouldn’t take as much time as I wanted him to in achieving my orgasm. So I wanted to be pampered a bit and one of my fantasies was having a back massage and then making it more intimate. My FWB would be like, ‘I find the massage boring can we just do the intimate bit?’ He just didn’t put in the time and effort I desired. So I researched Colin and asked him lots of questions before going for the ‘Sensual Massage’ [90 minutes for £185] in November 2015.
He started off with my back and neck and shoulders, then went down to my hips and obviously near my bottom. Then nearer and nearer the bottom and in between the legs. I was quite turned on and he brought me to orgasm with his fingers while I was on my front. Then he let me recover a bit, then turned me on my back and started doing different massage moves. He brought me to orgasm twice using his fingers again while I was on my back. I can’t remember which were vaginal, clitoral or combined but I do remember having a few orgasms.
What I learned
It’s not at all sleazy or weird. Pleasure is the main thing I got out of it and the best bit is you don’t have to do anything to him, it’s all about you so it’s a very sensuous experience. He’s totally focused on you – it’s quite selfish and gratifying.”
“Traumatic events had screwed my mind up about sex”
Holly*, 27, a psychology student, says,
“I’d done some work in the Middle East at a very hostile time and saw things that were quite traumatic. Some of those were sexual and because I can speak Hebrew and Arabic, I was translating some pretty horrific stuff, too. In my mind, I was like, ‘sex is not good because I’ve seen all this awful stuff’. It basically just screwed my mind up.
I also have a disability that I won’t go into, but I always saw it as a bad thing and was really down on myself. I didn’t feel that attractive to anybody and I wasn’t very confident. It got to the point where I literally couldn’t even sit in the same room as a guy without freaking out.
I’d tried normal counselling and CBT, but for me, I need affirmation through touch and I wasn’t getting that. I knew I needed a different approach. My belief system has also taught me not to have sex before marriage and that if you have any sexual desire, it’s wrong. But I couldn’t deny I was having sexual desires.
I booked in for the ‘Psycho-sensual Massage Treatment’ [£300 for three hours]. He does a counselling part of it and then body work as well. For the first 90 minutes, we talked through things. Because it was a new experience I was honestly so nervous I was sat on the floor in a ball. It took even an hour for Colin to be able to touch my shoulder and arms. At the start, I went almost every two weeks, sometimes every week at the beginning. Now, I do a lot of Skype with him [for the talking therapy] and go and see him once a month.
What I learned
The massage is really good and really enjoyable, but having someone who can explain why you do things and feel a certain way makes it great. I feel totally more confident since seeing him. I would never have gone on dates before, but now I do. Through him, I realise my disability isn’t such a bad thing. I never realised what good qualities I had before this.”
“My one night stands were sexually lacking”
Megan*, 22, a student, says,
“I was at a party when I met a girl who told me about Colin and what he did, which I thought sounded really great. She said he was looking for volunteer receivers for a sensual massage workshop and I decided to do it. During the session, I lay on a massage bed while male members of the group took it in turns to practice massaging me.
It didn’t feel in any way uncomfortable, even when the second half became more sexual. I was quite amazed when I orgasmed. I’m quite open-minded sexually and always up for experimenting with men and women. I’m single and find myself getting caught in a cycle of having one night stands. They’re fun and I enjoy them, but there’s something sexually lacking – the freedom to explore your sexuality with someone you can trust.
As part of the deal of being a volunteer, I got to go back and have a one-on-one massage. Colin just knew exactly what to do and was very good at picking up (involuntary) signals from my body. He’s very receptive, not like with guys you’re dating where you have to verbally say, ‘this is what I want you to do’. Internal stimulation was involved but it wasn’t the main event and such a tiny part of it.
What I learned
Reaching orgasm has never really been an issue for me, but this was very different. It felt like a full-body experience and I’d never really had that all over euphoric feeling before. There’s not often the freedom to explore what you really want sexually as a single woman without facing some kind of stigma or shame. So it’s nice to be able to explore elements of your sexuality.”
“I wanted to learn what my body’s really capable of”
Anna*, 38, a marketing consultant, says,
“I’m bisexual and have been happily married to a man for 10 years. I met Colin at a sex party he was hosting where I had an encounter with a woman. She did this thing that made me squirt. It was fucking amazing and she did it again and again and then taught my husband how to do it to me. That’s when I thought, ‘right, there’s untapped potential here’. I then decided to have the ‘Absolute Erotic Massage’ [a 105-minute full-body sensual massage costing £225] in September this year
I got onto the table naked and he started out by doing a normal Swedish-style massage on my neck and back. It was really nice and relaxing. He’d occasionally go to hold my hand briefly and I could squeeze to let him know I was ok. It’s such a vulnerable position to be putting yourself in, so that way of communicating made me feel safe and comfortable.
Then he started being more intimate with the massage – including clitoral and internal vaginal massaging which I’d requested. I’d asked him not to do anal. He’d slowly ramp it up so I thought I was about to come, and then slow it down before starting again. I completely zoned out and was swept away by the physical pleasure. I thought I’d had around four orgasms and that included squirting again. But he said it was six, which was kind of insane. I’ve never done that before.
Afterwards, I felt so energised and went home that evening and had really good sex with my husband. He’d been very supportive and now we’re talking about doing a couples massage.
What I learned
My body is capable of more than I thought it was, like my sexual stamina and the ability to keep having orgasms. I wish more people were open to it. Women’s sexuality has been so repressed for so long in society and culturally that it’s really important to turn that around.”