My Reasons and Motivations
I’m a student from the states studying abroad. And it is my first time in London. I’m nearly finished with my studies. It’s been a long couple of years, changing majors deciding what I really want to do and through those years I was in three serious relationships. All of them were good, but always had the same recurring problem in the bedroom. I couldn’t reach orgasm for a long time or I would rarely orgasm during sex. Some of them I suspect stem from mental blocks. Almost every time I refused to allow myself the pleasure. It was only after past the first year or two being with the same guy that I started getting comfortable with “letting it go”. He had to speak those words and hold me close to help still my thoughts. But if I was highly stressed out under a lot of pressure from work or school the mental blocks kept rushing back. My mind could not be still, flying in a million directions about everything else I had to do the next day or prepare for exams. I could not focus on sex and sometimes I would carry on conversations during sex. Later on, the inability to orgasm or basically the frustrated method of giving up and telling him “Baby you should cum first.” Was a blow to his ego. It wasn’t like I didn’t try or I let him down because of it. I made it a point to be careful of what I said and also because I had mental blocks that I could not help. “Honey, it’s not you, it’s me.” Because after 45 minutes of trying to stimulate, massage me, oral, dirty pillow talk, rough sex, hair pulling and different positions just didn’t do it. No matter how GOOD the sex was I couldn’t focus on achieving orgasm, and then achieving orgasm no longer mattered. I was just making sure my significant other “got his.” This was a problem. I wasn’t happy in a relationship. No matter how much, it just wasn’t satisfying because I didn’t allow it in my life. I felt the need to reach out to someone experienced, someone who could help address my deeply rooted problems, and someone who knew how to bring back my mind blowing orgasms. For the first time in my life, I never thought I would say this but I needed a sex therapist.
The solution: Professional help and why I chose Colin.
This is what lead me to find Colin. A professional sex therapist. I perused his website to find legitimate reviews, videos, and interesting articles. My relationship ended a year ago and it’s been difficult for me to trust men, find solace in commitment and I was just too busy with work or school to take care of my needs. Obviously having one night stands wasn’t a viable option or a safe one. I dated. They all sucked. I just didn’t even allow them the chance to get close to me. As Colin put it, I had developed problems with trusting people, this was especially true for the men I had relationships with.
Why did I want to go see Colin? What was I getting out of it? I wanted to understand my deeply rooted problems. I wanted to fix my mental blocks. I wanted to gain back my confidence in bed and be able to “let go”. It’s okay for women to pursue avenues of being sexually satisfied even if it meant it was coming from a professional. I am entitled to my orgasms.
Wow. It would be an understatement to say I am relaxed. I feel a million times better hearing from Colin the reason I am wired the way I am and how I can take steps to improve my sex life. Colin was highly professional, polite and hospitable. I felt a sense of comfort just being around him. I wasn’t nervous and I didn’t feel guilty that I was doing something bad. Sex isn’t bad. Masturbation isn’t bad. That’s what society’s standards has conditioned us to think. It’s completely normal and natural. It’s holistic to our mental well-being and I felt welcomed into his world. I stepped into a boundary that was private and personal for us both, but he made it about me. I didn’t feel a guilty conscience looming over me as I did with my previous relationships. Although the massage was sensual, arousing and erotic, it also enabled me to focus on myself and my own arousal. I didn’t worry about getting my boyfriend off first. He customized the massage to me based upon my extensive application I filled out. I appreciate and cherish what Colin has done for me.