Recently Colin, Master Masseur, Sexologist and creator of M33 received an email from a client who asked him how he balanced his work with being a father and partner at the same time. A question he is often asked and here is his answer….
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The Question from Robert
Colin, you say that you have 5 children. Do they know that you touch/massage male/female genitals? Do they know about M33? What do they think about it? How do they feel about having a father with this type of career (giving sensual massages)?
In 2005 when I first started giving sensual massage I decided that in order to give it authentically I needed to feel totally at ease with it myself and have a complete belief in its integrity and benefits.
If you look at the 2nd testimonial given to me by a client called Ian in June 2005 http://www.massage33.com/feedback.html you hopefully understand why that from this point on I felt empowered to take this new role on as a full-time career and subsequently train in psychosexual therapy and to then combine it with the massage.
I also realised at this point that in order to be able to do this successfully I needed to be completely transparent with my work, after all, what’s the point of advocating sensual massage as a beneficial treatment and then hiding my identity and live in fear of being judged for something that I believed in. I also believed that in time my honesty and openness would be appreciated and that by being the one “leaping onto the dance floor first” others would follow.
So from day one, I have been open with my friends family and colleges. That is to say, I have not actively hidden anything but rather if any questions have been asked I have answered them honestly. It is now 7 years since I started this work and my kids are all now quite grown up (24,22.20,18,16) they are all totally aware of my work, some have asked me quite detailed questions about the treatments and in turn I have told them of some of the more traumatic stories and of the unfortunate clandestine lives that some clients have had to live as well as the more humorous moments that this work brings.
As a result, I believe that my children have a far better understanding of the human condition, particularly where sex and sexuality are concerned and I hope that my openness with them helps them to be able to live authentic happy lives with whatever partners they wish to have themselves.
I also believe that they know that they can come to me about any issue that they need help with, particularly in regard to their sex lives and relationships. In fact, quite often they phone me for advice.
To highlight this, my eldest daughter has edited some of the massage 33 web site and my eldest son has helped me design the algorithm for the sexuality test. www.sexonalitytest.com and my youngest two daughters, when they were young teenagers when they stayed with me, quite mercenarily would encourage me to see clients so that we could go shopping after! Kids are in fact quite self-motivated and all they really want is to know the truth, once they have that they can make their own minds up, what they don’t like is deception or untruths. I am fortunate that believe I have a very open relationship with my 5 kids which gives them a good balance to make up their own minds.
I also have 3 elder sisters and many nephews and nieces and they are all totally aware and the latter often ask me for advice on their relationships
After all, how can I help men be who they really are if I can’t be who I really am!
I also believe that one day soon I and my work as a sexologist and sex-life coach will be much more in the public eye, tv, web, presenting and so it’s important that there are no selections lurking in any cupboards since if there were it would totally undermine my principal that to live life as free and healthy as possible one must live a life of transparency and authenticity and to not find oneself living a life for the sake of other people’s expectations or inadequacies.